BEing The Change...

After countless times of hearing it, only thinking that I get it, I now FULLY embrace Ghandi’s quote “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

The timeless truth of these words are woven into the sage-wisdom of numerous texts.

The “Golden Rule” of the Ten Commandments taught in Jewish and Christian practices, speak to the same essence of this amazing poem by Lau Tzu in the Tao Te Ching (ch 81), that was written over 2500 years ago.

“The Sage does not hoard.

The more he does for others,

the more he has.

The more he thereby gives to others,

The ever more he gets.”

No matter your faith, philosophy, nationality or age, it's as absolute as electricity and gravity. Call it Karma, Ju-ju or coincident, these “rules” do not require your permission to exist, they just do.

How can I be so certain about something unseen?

We did not invent gravity, we learned to master it for balance, gardening and a pilot's three-point landing. We don’t see gravity, we only see evidence of it’s law or presence.

We did not create electricity. It is a physical phenomenon, though a skilled electrictian or engineer can harness, store and replicate it to light your room and power my laptop.

I have seen numerous examples of this “givers gain” phenomenon in every aspect of my life, especially in my work.

I own a portrait studio that I drive to daily. Many of my consultations and sessions are off-site. To make a great impression and respect my would-be clients, I pad my time to arrive early.

If we book for 10am, I make it my intention to arrive at 9:50. By arriving early, I am more focused, therefore creative. Creativity allows me to see things that my client does not, so creativity/being early is an important part of my livelihood.

When that pad is diminished (late client, traffic or missing a calendar chime), a stress hormone called cortisol spikes our adrenaline to increase our urgency (the fight-or-flight mechanism built into us for survival).

In my world, stress inhibits creativity, which throws me off of my game. In sum, late equals lack.

Plan, though I may, it happens. My pad is pinched, and up goes the urgency. This is my opportunity to notice the law at work, and tame that impulse toward stressful driving.

I use these times to practice the Golden Rule. If I am late, I give other drivers what I desire - time. A car indicates (or not) that it wants my lane. Do I react with scarcity (scare-city) behaviors or give them the time that I desire? Breaks or throttle?

After years of trying both, I've witnessed what science has since proven. The giver, the gifted and even the witness of kindness, receive an equal spike in Seritonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin - The contagious Happiness Trifecta.

BEFORE your hand heads for the horn, and/or foot for the throttle, pause to say “Doctor Bob to surgery", or something less cheeky like "after you..."

For all we know, they are in a crisis much greater than our own. Yes, it may also be a selfish speed-freak, rebelling on man-made laws or driving courtesies. The Universal Law does not discern who you offer kindness to. In fact, your good example may just be the sign they were looking for, to become aware of their own actions without reactions.

My favorite driving mantra is “I will arrive in perfect time”. Give that person the time you desire. I’ve begun numerous commutes - by common definition - late. Without fail, my mantra, stated with calm conviction has delivered me with time to spare.

Intended time? Maybe not, but it is nearly always “the right time” for all parties involved. Early enough to take a few deep breaths and reset my internal clock. Long enough for a “ding ding”, text from my client saying “I am stuck in this parking lot called a freeway” or “Be there in 10…” or “I landed at the wrong Starbucks”.

I can always make schedule adjustments if I see a pattern in my departure times, but the fact is - The more I give to others in my day, the more I feel that I receive. I do not keep a tally, but I’ve made mental notes of the cause and effect of my altruistic offerings in the course of a day. Enough to equate this to the absolute law of gravity, and existence of electricity I cannot see.

Having been the recipient of another person's anonymous, "pay it forward" act, this has become one of my favorites regarding money. Feeling constricted with my own finances, I'll buy a $20 gift card at the coffee shop, whispering "Please don't call attention to me, but use this on the next few..."

I don’t look back in need of recognition, nor would I want anyone to think I had a selfish agenda. (Spiritual, perhaps, but not personal). Anonymity compounds the fuzzy "pang" with a mysterious curiosity, while leaving your ego out of it. Let go of the need for credit, and connect to your Source with an internal smile.

Being self-employed, I desire more business v. busyness. Before every headshot session, I silently ask “How can I help this person be successful with their goal?”

I put on the perspective of their ideal employer, client or partner as I seek to cause “that look”, for an effective image. In conversation I often discover that I’m friends with a connection they’ve been seeking, allowing me to over-deliver by way of networking.

The greatest thing about this rule - you don’t have to believe it in order for it to work. Just like gravity, it works even if you don’t understand how. Dismiss it as woo-woo, and, well... I'll still call you Doctor Bob as I perpetuate my own bank of time on my commute.

Best of success and remember to BE all that you desire in your world.